They say that it’s in your 20s when you really learn who you are and who you want to be. While I don’t know yet if thats true, I’ve certainly learned a lot about myself, about other people and what it means to be a gay 20-something.
Here’s a list of 57 things I’ve learned (so far) about being gay in my 20s:
- Sex is not like it is in porn
- You don’t need to go to every gay dance party just because it’s a long weekend
- Sleeping with someone because you’re lonely won’t make you feel less lonely
- You will never find love when you’re desperate to be loved
- You can’t make people like you
- The best relationships start with someone being brave enough to say hello
- The more time you spend at the gym, the less content you will be with your body
- You’re happier when you’re eating carbs
- Brains, ambition, confidence and a sense of humour are harder to find than abs, biceps and a big chest
- Messaging your ex-boyfriend when you’re drunk on Saturday night is not a good idea
- Sundays are more fun when you’re not hung-over
- Devoting time to do charity will make you happier than only devoting time to yourself
- Gratitude is the key to happiness
- Don’t compare yourself to others
- You are not a real housewife of NYC or Beverly Hills or Orange County
- Everyone is just as confused as you are
- The people who you think have their shit together are often the most messed up
- The number of selfies you take is inversely proportianate to how good you feel about yourself
- “Liking” something on Instagram will never replace a compliment delivered in person
- The less time you spend on social media the happier you will be
- You don’t need to take your shirt off every time you’re in a place with more than 10 gays
- FOMO fades overtime when you realize that there’s not really much to miss out on
- Enjoy the moment
- Having a photographer take your picture does not a model make
- Wear what you want
- It’s better to be disliked for being yourself than to be liked for trying to be someone else
- You don’t have to have your life in order by 27
- Use your head and heart as often as you use your penis
- It’s best to leave some things to the imagination
- The most intriguing people are the ones you know the least about
- Happy couples aren’t always happy
- Not everything needs to be shared on social media
- Get over your slutty phase as soon as possible before you develop a reputation
- Sometimes mornings alone with Sean Cody are better than mornings in bed with some random
- Sleeping with straight boys is like drinking tequila, it seems like a fun idea at the time but you’ll regret it in the morning
- You may think you fell in love in Mykonos but it won’t last when you both go home
- Always wear a condom
- Your heart will be broken but it will eventually mend
- Don’t place your self worth in other people’s hands
- If you can’t find any gay role models, try to become one
- Surround yourself with people who inspire you
- It’s never too late to start
- Be careful who you send nude pictures to
- Snapchats can be saved
- You might make new friends but the best ones are those who have been there the whole time
- The guys you party with don’t necessarily have your best interests at heart
- If you’re feeling down, talk to someone, chances are they’ve felt the same way
- You can sit with us
- You don’t need to shave your chest hair
- Just because you love Gaga and Britney doesn’t mean you can’t listen to The Hives
- It may be in fashion but it doesn’t mean it’s going to suit you
- Bleaching your hair was a bad idea
- Plan for where you want to be in 10 years
- There’s more to you than your sexuality
- You are not better than anyone else
- Be kind to others
- There’s still so much you don’t know
Image by Sharif Hamza for VMAN Magazine
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